Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Most Moronic Political Column Ever

I know, with the talentless hacks that populate the internet, such a title is one just waiting to be passed on to the next more deserving candidate. But still, the title belongs to whoever deserves it most at the moment, and that distinction goes to this amateurish piece of dreck by Jon Sanders, yet another right-wing hack determined to persuade people that Barak Obama's message is empty. His method? This has to be read to be believed:

"'Hope' and 'change' are magical ingredients; they taste differently to each person. The formula wouldn't work with any other ingredient.

Granted, the preceding is a strong statement; it needs defense. Let me demonstrate. Take a typical Obama speech and replace 'hope' with something else, something more substantive. Peanut butter, for example. Would it work?"

Uh, no, it won't. So? This proves Obama is saying nothing? Oh brother, this is truly pathetic. It actually proves the opposite! If Obama's use of the words "hope" and "change" were truly meaningless, "saying nothing" as Sanders puts it, then substituting another phrase would work just fine! Observe:

"De do do do, de da da da, is all I want to say to you"

Meaningless, right? Now substitute "blah" for "do", and we get:

"De blah blah blah, de da da da, is all I want to say to you"

No effect! Just as meaningless as before. Now let's take something that is meaningful, if not deep:

"How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood"

Now substitute "blah" for "wood", and we get:

"How much blah could a blahchuck chuck if a blahchuck could chuck bla"

It destroys the meaning, doesn't it? Of course it does, because if you substitute a meaningful word with nonsense, it becomes nonsense! This ain't complicated.

This is getting truly, down at the bottom of the barrel, embarrassingly pathetic, and more than a little disappointing. I've now seen over a dozen anti-Obama columns from the Republican pundits, and only one had any substance to it at all (calling Obama on an apparent contradiction with his position on gun control, an issue I will be watching carefully). All the rest smack of either complete desperation or (more likely) complete intellectual laziness. Are Obama's positions on the issues THAT factually and logically airtight? That sure is the impression the Republicans are giving me.

How about some substance people? It is the election for leader of the free world and all, and it is not like we lack for substantive issues. I was really looking forward to seeing how the Republicans were going to respond to the young challenger, and this pussified dodging of, well, everything, is all I'm going to get? Once again it looks like the Republicans already know they are going to get their ass kicked, and aren't even interested in putting up a fight. If that's the case, then write about basket weaving, sports, and the weather, or maybe even the odd children's song, rather than pretending to write about politics.

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